Disappointment were all familiar with the grunting sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach which is not quite the need to poop or indigestion. It lingers on and stick with you much like a child hell bent on ruining your day.


So here we have the 5 most recently Disappointing things.


5.The KIA

Perhaps the shock trailer of Mass Effect 2 showing up after confirming that we could transfer our original Mass Effect data and our commander Sheppard across kind of puts a damper on what it appears bioware has been trying to do. The idea that you will no longer play the much beloved created character from the first game brings back fond memories of Knights of the old republic 2.


This is bad because KOTOR2 was not as likable as its predecessor


Picture is fake and more likely a candidate for the Bam your gay article


4.Lego RockBand



Seriously


Is this what we the gamer who enjoys playing fake instruments because we are much to ham fisted, lazy and generally ashamed of our outward appearance? Is this what we have reduced the industry to? Yes and we should all be disappointed in ourselves.


3.Tales of Vesperia

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"It cannot be done!" they mumbled loudly, if such a thing were possible. "Review six of the greatest pieces of fantasy ever created in one slapdash article without giving away the stories?! Mental!"
'Pah', said I. And began to read and write...

"When one is deeply absorbed in such recounting, it is surprising how much detail one can recall. Not all of the memories I summon up are painful."

Over a score of years ago, Robin Hobb began writing the six finest pieces of 'soft' fantasy I have ever read.
This is no small accolade, fantasy literature has always been something of a passion for me, and from Anne Macaffrey to Asimov I've happily devoured an appreciable chunk of the genre.

The books in question are the Farseer Trilogy, 'Assassin's Apprentice', 'Royal Assassin' and 'Assassin's Quest'. And the Tawny Man trilogy, 'Fool's Errand', 'The Golden Fool' and 'Fool's Fate'.

Between these six books they tell, from the first person perspective - the entire life of Fitzchivalry Farseer, a remarkable man living in remarkable time.

The tale is set in an almost medieval world, in the Kingdom of the Six Duchies, ruled over by the family of Farseers. So far, so olde world fiction. There's even magic, but more on that later.
The Story of Fitzchivalry, a royal bastard, begins with his foster father abandoning him to the mercies of the Prince that begat him. Six years old, he is thrust into a world of soldiers and political intrigue in which he is suddenly a rather dangerous and vulnerable game piece. His arrival causes his father to abdicate his claim to the throne, and gives his scheming uncle, Prince Regal, another leg up towards the succession.
His surrogate grandfather, the king starts shaping him into a tool he can use for the good of the throne - a diplomat and assassin, but in doing so twists him into something wholly different.

Short and sweet, and with a replay value equal to that of sex, Portal is deliciously dark humoured, littered with cult icons and thouroughly enjoyable.

You can play it through from opening sequence to end credits in about 2 hours (1 and half if your awesome like myself) and this is plenty of time to get aquainted with the rakish individual that is, Portal. The cheeky libertine slut that it is.

The controls and concept, like all the best things are simple, fire orange portal, fire blue portal, direct hapless individual through the resulting rift in space and time. See? Simple. But, then add in all sorts of cheeky angles, polite soft voiced turrets that like nothing more than to carve their name in your face with bullets, buttons, whizzing balls of electronic vaporisy doom, and a psychotic super computer that controls everything around you, and you have a satisfyingly meaty set of challenges on your hands.

The puzzles and challenges are well thought out, and some of the later ones are genuinly fucking difficult, which makes it all the more satisfying when you actually manage to accomplish them. The puzzles have a enough variation so as not to became stale and samey, and the amount of cheeky little tricks that you can do with the physics engine is glee enducingly vast. Though integral to the completion of the game, more often than not i found myself abusing the superb physics engine and catupulting myself across for no reason other than i could. And creating infinate loops in which you fall to your doom for ever and ever. five minutes is my current record.

Welcome to another SimpleCyanide top 10 list! This week we give you the Gayest moments in Videogaming.

If you are yourself gay then please don't be offended by this article, but instead feast your eyes on the sumptuous moments of gay gaming history. Heck, feel free to loosen those leather trousers, pop out the butt plug and have a good old rummage to these gayer than gay moment...



10) Fable - Experimenting

Fable, a masterpiece of a game - giving you the choice to craft your hero into whatever you desire, be you good, evil or gay...



More often than not, while dancing or farting for an enthralled crowd you would think yourself a big - manly man as every woman in the vicinity fell in love with you. But what's this? A heart over the head of a swarthy gentleman? Well i'm flattered but... oh you too? Well... i always open to new experiences...
BAM - you've taken him to a tavern for some sweet bum love and you're gay.



9) Halo 1, 2 and 3- Teabagging

Halo, you all know what it's about. Super soldier master chief blowing up the best part of a species once a game in an orgy of well orchestrated FPS mayhem. Brilliant games, until you get online...



You're just minding your own buisness when Bang! Some crafty beggars popped out from behind a rock and shotgunned you to death. Ah well - nothing to do now but respawn right?
Wrong. Mr. Shotgun comes up to your poor, defenceless corpse, and while you are forced to watch through the deathcam - gently squats on your face. Again and again...
BAM - balls in your mouth and you're gay.