I am an overmuscled, testosterone for blood ape - with a chainsaw bayonet on his gun.I have ploughed through a hundred, nay a thousand locust bodies to get to this point.


Wait no i did not. I am in fact a overweight bear with a square nose and a redesigned face much akin to a gargoyle. Welcome to the world of nuts&bolts where the once athletic duo has spent the last couple of years in less than pristine shape. The game starts with the revival of grunty the witch without a body anymore. Your first "challenge" in the game is to race the bouncing head around the local hill. No problem right?


Wrong i am infact so out of shape that the head zooms off into the lead as i am left wondering why i move slower then a snail in a full body cast. Thankfully i dont need to continue with this as the showdown is interrupted by L.O.G the lord of games. Who decides much like a child being ignored that everything must be done his way. Banjo being stupid as he is fails to take this chance to sit on the witchy head and crush it into a fine dust with his immense weight and goes along with the plan.


So we finally get to the game and are given a magic wrench. This allows us to build any vehicle we want however we dont have many if any parts so early into the game. In the games central hub zone "Showdown town" we set of in what can only be described as a shopping cart with a weak motor in the bottom. We cant go up steep slopes at the moment so were left with doing the tutorial levels.


Yes like every tutorial ever made they are a drag a huge drain on the willpower to keep going with the game. However there easily disbatched and bested despite the best vehicle i can make is the same slow as hell trolley from showdown town with better wheels and three engines. It fails to steer like anything else constantly ramming itself into the wildlife and anything else it seems to be able to find.


We get to our first boss fight which is over in seconds as i hope out of my vehicle and use my wrench on the object I am supposed to fight to obtain. The game expects something like this however with the trophy time being only 10 seconds. We get our first real reward for this in that now the trolley in showdown town (which you cant change for something cool like a plane)can now go up slopes. I proceeded to go onto a binge of collecting parts crates and came across a interesting way to cheat.

The Wrench can pick up anything including the trolley so by placing something big you can wedge yourself into like a few boxes you can stand on them and use the wrench to move the trolley. This exploit was quickly used to fly pretty much everywhere i possibly could and i soon had access to tonnes of new parts that i was not surposed to yet.

So here we are 3 hours into the game (With cheats) and im onto my second zone (each zone is placed into 6 acts with later acts being harder and unlocked later at my current place in the game i still dont have the 6th act of the first zone unlocked.) given small challenges like go here and turn this switch, Win this race etc etc were made so much more enjoyable now that i could finally build the motorbike drag racer i always wanted And then attach a giant fridge to the back to shoot ice and totally mess up the balance.

Planes,Tanks,A giant house like beast,hovercrafts, hot air balloons i could make whatever i wanted. i even thought of making a Big Zam but i lacked the parts. Just to point out the Big Zam is this.

And not this.



The worlds are all vibrant and colourful sometime a bit to bright for my tastes hurting my eyes at more than a few points.The worlds all differ greatly from the sewn together patchwork of nutty acres to the museum of banjoland they are all resonably large in size and fun to explore (with the right vehicle and parts)But the game seems to want you to hate it.
Constantly messed up physics have left me upside down constantly and being nudged and shoved from all sides by either the gruntybots the subpar round ball like monsters or the AI.

All in all its not a purchase to be made if your not going to put the time into it. Then again I have only played it to this point because it was a present. Im sure its someones cup of tea but for me its something to pass the time with. Not great but not bad either and certainly a long way away from the old glory days of rare games.